Droplet

People have been asking me to start blogging again, and I'm flattered... but what do you blog about after giving birth?

The way my skin stretched in ways I thought it never could, and out she came? (Sorry if that grosses you out.)

The way my heart has stretched in ways I never thought it could? Doing flip-flops and bungee jumps, stretching wide... wider...

The way I feel like Bessie the Cow, pumping milk from my teats in between breastfeeding sessions?

The way I can't believe I'm a PARENT, posting baby pictures to Facebook, reading books about developing your child's sleep habits? OH MY GOD THIS IS SO WEIRD.

Learning how to work a stroller, a swing, a bouncy seat... and learning how to incorporate these objects into my home, how to incorporate HER THINGS into my home... 

I have this picture of myself -- actually, it's more of an impression: I'm thriving professionally. I'm in great physical shape. And we have a happy family life. I know we'll get there. But for now, it's like I'm in a vortex. An other-world, another dimension, and the glass between this world and yours is mottled, like I'm looking up from underwater. But that makes it sound like I'm drowning, and instead, I feel like I'm floating. Suspended like a tiny drop of water in the ocean, crystallizing a moment, capturing the sun.

I'm learning to know her cries, her language. She's calling to me now. And off I go...

(I guess that's what you blog about after giving birth...for starters...)

Photo by Wayne Silver.

Comments

[Dragonkat747]

Yep. But you said it more beautifully than I ever could. Your droplet will spread out and rejoin the ocean soon enough and you just might miss this moment when you're so very strangely separate.

[Tree]

Very beautiful and articulate.

[Amanda]

Thank you both! It feels good to have "broken the seal," so to speak, on the return to blogging... I feel less pressure for subsequent posts to be momentous ;)

[Anne]

You hit the nail on the head. Life changes so dramatically after having a baby that no book, class or other parent can prepare you. This post I feel comes the closer to anything I have read or heard in regards to life after baby. Also, this one is a lot more eloquent than anything else too!

[Amanda]

Anne, thank you so much!!